I can’t fix my problem Doc, I need it!
Do you have a friend where every time you hear them, they are complaining about the same problem? Maybe it’s their relationship, it’s their parents, it’s their coworkers… but you always have to hear about it. You love your friend, but you can’t help wonder why they can continue to live with this problem.
At the same time, I hear a lot of Canadians who are well-aware of the problems of Canada and speak out often. But, that’s it. The more problems, the more complaints and tweets that are sent out. They could seek to immerse themselves into the political sphere or simply just get on an airplane and their problems would vanish–but they don’t.
Similarly, have you heard of Americans complain about their taxes? I have. They could move to Puerto Rico, Wyoming, South Dakota, Alaska, New Hampshire, Texas, Florida, Tennessee or Washington to wipe a lot of their income taxes. How many people realistically do this? Sure, lots have moved to Florida and Texas, but not primarily for tax reasons and still much more remain in their nearly failed states of New York, New Jersey, California, Maryland & others.
Have you met anyone who complains about their weight but is unwilling to curb their love of alcohol or dessert at the end of a meal? or their love for restaurants with high sugar, high salt foods? The food appears to always win for these people.
I believe it relates to a quote from Nietzsche below. I first heard this quote and mentally applied it to the United States and Russia, effectively extending the Cold War till today where on the surface Russia poses a weaker threat than what they did as the Soviet Union, but the propaganda that they are the ‘baddies’ is still the prevailing narrative.
In other words, if ones’ meaning, purpose or sole interest is combating (complaining) about a threat or enemy, than it’s counterproductive to annihilate that enemy. Imagine how boring the comics would be if Batman arrested Joker in the first scene. Batman and Joker are symbiotic and that’s what gives them thrill. But, you don’t need a symbiotic enemy. Enemies are unhealthy, tiresome and economically draining.
The reason why so many people are reluctant to relocate, lose weight, reduce tax, learn a new skill is less so about it’s initial difficulty; I believe its because of the attention and reinforcement we receive by it being a thrilling problem. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Think about it–we are absolutely addicted to playing the victim. Sob stories in our culture are not met with words of encouragement– they are met with attention, sympathy and reward. Our 300,000 year software called the brain goes where it’s treated best and this is where it gets the largest taste of dopamine. While we may be cognizant that the correct action is to leave a relationship for instance, our brain may not allow us to leave because of the attention, support, acknowledgement (& dopamine) we receive by retaining this problematic news. In some sense, it provides us with meaning. It’s more exciting to have bad news, than no news at all.
I wanted to write this in attempt to resonate for some people who are on the verge of making a change but feel uncomfortable doing so. It’s always easier to stay behind; to comply; to be bossed around. But this will always have a long term price to you individually. Maybe you are missing out on your true love because you’re wasting time in this relationship; maybe you could have retired by now but cannot because of your tax rates; maybe you would be healthier by being less stressed–there’s a price for everything.
This ultimately comes down to ones willingness to fix their problem. If someone wants to truly solve their issues and complaints than they have to exterminate their problem by the roots and put Agent Orange where it originated. This may mean changing oneself, or ones’ purpose. It will be uncomfortable at first, but for the best in the long run. That ol’ brain of yours will find a new source of dopamine, don’t worry.
#StayOnTheBall
