The Miracle of True Love: Lets be more understanding of each other
I’m sure you’re well aware of the marriage crisis going on throughout the world where at best some marriage success stories have come down to the odds of a coin toss. It’s perhaps the perfect example of “it won’t happen to me” syndrome.
Financial reasons are the number reasons that cause turmoil in long-term relationships and while there are stressors, pressures and uncomfortable scenarios in everyday life, it’s just surface-level analysis.
All you have to do is some brainstorming to realize that the Millennial and Gen Z expectations on both sexes are way off. Men, who desire a stay-home lady to cherish the children, straighten the home, garden the veggies and put effort in her look are hard to find. It’s not that women don’t wish to have this life but because women HAVE TO work in today’s society now. The devaluation of all currencies over the last 50 years have guaranteed that a single-sourced income (with some exceptions) is insufficient for two people let alone children. Women cannot easily tend to a house and organize family dynamics if she’s working Saturdays. Once you introduce women to the workplace, the birth rate (and hence, partners) falls of a cliff, which makes sense, but now women are without choice (ironically as a woman’s right to choose is now the most important thing in the world).
At the same time, the expectation of women is also off. I’m sure you’ve seen the hundreds of recordings or online dating checkpoints that must be met for women to be interested. Some may reference, height, eye colour, age, weight, race, type of politics and almost always, income. While women are very selective in their choice of a mate (for good reason if they’re to be the pregnant one!), let’s run the odds on some random expectations and challenge the notion that every lady deserves an Adonis.
I could get up at the podium here and just bitch about how everything is going to hell for both sexes but I thought of another tactic. I want to show some rough calculation demonstrating the absurdity and utter failure that a significant portion of our society does not understand using some percentages. This is not to say settle for less, however if people do not grasp the improbability of finding a loving partner who checks all the boxes they are in for a life of problems
Brainstorming
Below I’ve taken 4 assumptions–three ideal men for women and 1 ideal woman for a guy. At complete random, I’ve given them just a few characteristics. I’ve assumed that each characteristic or factors bear no relationship to each other (in other words, that percentage of older men with blue eyes is the same as younger men with blue eyes or the number of unemployed brunettes is the same as unemployed blondes).
Okay. Ladies first.
Let’s look for a man who is 6’2″ in height. A white liberal. 19-54 years of age. Who has blue eyes. Who lives in and around Denver, Colorado and earns 120,000 USD a year. Sounds dreamy, ladies. (Once again assume no height, eye colour, political affiliation, age correlations deviate from the country averages for sake of calculation).
Example #1
Denver has a population of 713,252 and 50.7% are male>>Down to 361,618 men
If we take white alone in Denver (not hispanic white) thats 54.5%>>Down to 197,081
Let’s assume it’s a split between conservative and liberal 50/50>> Down to 98,540
6’2 or taller includes only 3.9% of the population>> Down to 3,843
Let’s of course not forget those blue eyes, USA have a lot of blue eyed men at 27%>> Down to 1,037
Let’s remove teens under 18 and men above the age of 65 which is 30.6%>>Down to 719 people
Finally let’s do the income, according to the state of Colorado, 120,000 USD a year puts a man in the 85th percentile which means he’s in the top 15%>>Down to 108 men.
We started at over 361,618 men and now we have 108 men out there for just these simple traits.
Example #2
Lets use a 25-64 year old man who earns 200,000 USD, of any skin colour, who is at least 6 feet tall, have never cheated on their partner, must live along the Pacific coastline of the United States (extending to Alaska) and has never been arrested.
Okay. 34,400,000 people live on the Pacific Coastline of the US. Let’s half that for just men–>17,200,000
Only 14.5% of men are 6 feet or taller. >>Down to 2,494,000
FBI data suggests that 18.9% of men in the United States have been arrested once in their life.>>Down to 2,022,634
Now the 200,000 USD number. It’s estimated that 1.5% of US citizens earn this individually>> Down to 30,339
70% of men claim they haven’t cheated on their partner. >> Down to 21,237
Let’s narrow that age group. 66% are in this age category >>Down to 14,016
So, you started with millions and millions across the whole Pacific coast of USA. All you wanted was a tall, wealthy, well behaved man–well of the 17,200,000 to choose from, you have a 0.0814% chance of finding this this guy, let alone dating him.
Example #3
Let’s go down to move down South from the USA. You’re a Mexican latina who wants a Mexican-born guy who can speak English, who is white, has a degree and a net wealth of at least 100,000 USD but under 1,000,000 USD and his main form of transportation is his own car–no more riding the bus.
There are 63,720,000 men in Mexico.
Only 12% of Mexicans can speak English (and 4% fluent; but we’ll use 12%. >>Down to 7,524,000
Estimates vary widely, but I’ll go with the fact that 35% of Mexicans are white Mexicans >>Down to 2,633,400
5.3% of Mexicans have a net wealth within that range. >>Down to 141,940
It’s estimated 23% of Mexicans have tertiary education. >>Down to 32,646
Only 13% of Mexicans use their own cars as the main form of transport (often they use a mix of bike, walking, Uber, cabs or bus. >>Down to 4,243
There you have it. A relatively wealthy white Mexican man, who’s educated with a car is one of 4,243 men within the entire country (based on these assumptions).
Example #4
Fellas, you’re ideal partner is a blonde British woman who has not had more than 4 sexual partners in her lifetime. She must also have played a sport in her lifetime. She must not drink alcohol, must not be a smoker and must be at least 30 years old with no children.
The number of women in the UK who are at least 30 years of age is: 6,674,912 (this includes 90 year olds but hey lets go with it)
Approximately 28% of British women are naturally blonde. Now we’re at >>1,868,975
76% of women have had 4 or less sexual partners. Now we’re at >>1,420,421
25% of British women around the age of 30 strictly do not drink alcohol. Now at>> 355,105
Recent surveys show that 64% of women have at least played one sport in their life time. Now at >>227,267
The average age of women having children is 30.7 years of age. Data from 2020 shows that 50% of 30 year olds do not have children. Now at >>113,633
Lastly, 15% of UK women aged 26-34 are smokers, the largest of the age group. Now at>>96,588
There you are, chaps. Out of the entire United Kingdom, to find a health-focused, sporty blonde at least in her 30s without children and no promiscuous behaviour, there’s less than 100,000 ladies (or is it birds?)
Commentary
I’m reminded of the scene in the Godfather where Michael Corleone went to that remote village in Italy where he met his wife, Apollonia. Judging by the scenery, if she was to get married, she basically had to marry Michael if she wanted a husband. Of course, times are not like that now–but the numbers are shockingly low after considering 5 or 6 features that most can agree are favourable in a date.
According to my own specifications of height, weight, education, eye colour and skin colour (i’ll let you figure out the combinations on your own), I am one in approximately 24,559 men aged 26-34 with these exact characteristics. Which is to say that relative to the total population of men that exist on the planet, there’s only a 0.0006186% chance a woman could find such characteristics. And no, i’m not a jacked albino Conan the Barbarian with green eyes and a PhD… To put this number into perspective, if we assume that winning a multi-million dollar 6/49 lottery provides the odds of 1 in 13,983,816 (1/49 to the factor of 6), than I (again, nothing spectacular here) or rather my few traits, are only 86X more likely to find in the world than winning the lottery. Hear that ladies?
Another aspect that goes undiscussed is a woman’s ability to screen for potential partners. Women have perfected ways to screen for a potential partner. One such screening mechanism is that women mate across or up hierarchies and IQ is no exception. A woman will more than likely not choose to mate with someone who does not have an IQ at least as high as her own. So, if a Spanish woman is above average intelligence (lets say 107 with average about 98) than her probability of finding a partner does not increase, it decreases! If you’re a woman with an IQ of 130, which is deemed very superior, upper extreme or near genius by various models, than you’ve eliminated 95% of the men out there–JUST on this factor alone. This is irrespective of the aforementioned variables mentioned that women also use.The difference on IQ or income does not apply to men seeking women.
AND, this brainstorming exercise is independent of specific age, whether the partner is single himself/herself AND interested in you (cause you’re competing with other people!), religious affiliations, educational status, mental health, sex life, physical attractiveness, body weight, their personality, humour abilities, goals in life, similarities in interests, their intelligence scores among other dimensions. All it takes is a few expectations to radically reduce your dating odds.
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Closing
I randomly chose these places & characteristics. Objectively, in the case of Denver, if you’re a single lady in her thirties living there and searching for the above characteristics in a long-term partner…you and the rest of the attractive ladies are fighting over about 4 men…
The deeper-level analysis comes when you begin to look at the culture underpinnings of high expectations from both men and women that neither involve sacrifice for the other or for a family. The culture motivates people in young adulthood through consumption, by flashiness, by sporadic promiscuous behaviour and narcissistic tendency as opposed to long-term goals with a sole individual based upon expectation, trust and struggle (together).
For instance, 89% of women expect men to ‘make the first move’ in a relationship whereas when men and women were surveyed if ‘approaching (simply approaching!) a woman’ constituted sexual harassment, 1 in 5 agreed it did. Someone getting #MeToo’ed is a dating career killer for young adults, so they sadly elect to not take any risk at all, or, no sacrifice.
The point of writing this was to not discourage young men and women that they’re never going to find their ideal partner–rather, it was an attempt to try to bring some realistic expectations back into the picture to improve ones’ chance of finding a partner. Not all men are made of capital, ladies, and not all ladies are fitness freaks, fellas– but all things considered they could still be great for you!
Please share with your friends! I hope it wasn’t too harsh and will serve as a little wake up call for some.
If you happen to find one of these gentlemen or ladies, you’re going to want to Click my wedding costs article!
If you have really given up on your culture because you believe it is no longer structured to be conducive for long-term relationships, click here to look at other cultures.
#StayOnTheBall
